Why Bother With A Plan?

The first business plan for my coaching practice was written on the back of a placemat while waiting for a lobster in an out-of-the-way shack in Maine. It was 2004, and I was on my way to visit some friends for a little R&R. I started thinking about my business and made a few notes:

- How much money I wanted to make in the next year

- How I would price my services to meet my income goals

- How many clients that meant I needed

- What kind of programs that meant I needed to offer

- What kind of additional training I would need

- How I would talk about my services

While I deconstructed a delicious lobster, I noodled on my plan. And when I removed the very attractive bib from around my neck and paid my check, I had a strong, workable direction for my business.

And I put that one-year plan in my purse and didn’t look at it again for six months.

Surprisingly, though, in that six months, I had done everything on my plan. Ahead of plan.

That’s right – I didn’t obsess, or over-think. I just executed.

Because the mere process of creating the plan – just putting my to-dos top of mind – catalyzed my action.

Now, there are those who detest plans. Maybe because they think plans are too rigid, don’t allow for creativity, aren’t that spontaneous, won’t accommodate serendipity.

[These people tend to - in Myers-Briggs talk - have a strong preference for "Perceiving", the dear darlings. They value flexibility above all and will do anything in their power to preserve their ability to go with the flow. And I completely get it. That's why I started this post of with the lobster story - just to show all those P people that planning can be easy. And tasty.]

A great plan, though, is not judged on how many tabs, tables and cross-references it includes.

A great plan is judged on how well it works.

With a plan, you know where to put your energy.

With a plan, you have a direction.

With a plan, you know what to say a whole-hearted “Yes!” to, and what to put in the “When There’s Time” file.

And planning can be easy. Easy-peasy.

Want to do one yourself? OK, take out a placemat-sized piece of paper. [lobster bib always optional.]

Answer these prompts:

- What do you want right now, more than anything?

- What’s your life going to be like when you get what you want? What’s it going to look like?

- Who are you when you’re at your best? What elements are in place? Which of these things already support getting what you want?

- What’s the first thing you need to do?

- Whose help do you need to do it?

- When can you start?

Focus, and put your best effort into these questions. When you’re done, you’ll realize that you have a plan, sugar.

Then fold it up and put it in your pocket.

And I’ll bet you, in six months, you’ve accomplished everything that needs doing.

Bet you a lobster dinner.

 

***

If you need a little help getting your plan together, there are still a few slots available for this Friday’s Get Yourself A Plan Retreat in Arlington, VA.  If you live outside the DC-area, you can sign up for the Virtual version of the Retreat.  Registration closes for the live event on Monday, February 27th, and on Wednesday, February 29th for the Virtual Retreat.

Then, Life Interrupts

 

So you’ve made the plan.

And you feel really good about it.

You’ve finally accepted that something needs to change, and you’re ready to do it – because you know that’s the only way you’re going to get yourself what you want.

A new job.

A promotion.

A partner.

More clients.

Getting that key certification.

You’ve got a plan and you’re ready to pull the ripcord.

But, then…

Then, life interrupts.

And someone you love gets sick.

You get sick.

You hear some very difficult news.

Whatever it is, it’s a crisis.  Totally unexpected.  And totally swamps your boat.

You drop everything, and race to help those who need you.

You, my friend, are human duct tape, holding anything and everything together.

And, depending on you and your life, this isn’t the first time you’ve raced to the rescue. You’re kind,you’re responsible, you have a good head on your shoulders, don’t you? And people count on you to do the hard things, especially when they can’t.

So you do.

I imagine this is resonating with you.

But remember your plan? Remember that thing you had committed to doing?  That thing that would give you more of what you want? That intriguing, fun, good-kind-of-challenge thing that will make you happy?

What about that?

In situations like this, many of us decide that it’s got to be one or the other. We have to decide: either I nurse my dying mother, or I start a business. Either I help my depressed child manage her illness, or I get a new job.

And sometimes we postpone – or drop – the plan that we know is good for us.

Last year, I wrote about The “And” Way - and maybe that idea can help those who feel caught between service and action.

Very few things in work and life are truly Either/Or, although it’s human nature to attempt to make them so. The And Way – where you get some of both of the things on your plate – is a “moving forward” approach, and keeps you from being thoroughly stuck.

So, yes, care for those you love in their time of need… but also stick with scheduling job interviews. Maybe you’ll have three interviews a week instead of six, but that’s OK – that’s The And Way.

Yes, deal with the crisis you face.  But also do the certification program – maybe you can start in six months, rather than next week. Or maybe you can halve the courses and complete the program in four months rather than two.

The And Way. When life interrupts your best laid plans, look closely at your situation and rather than defaulting to either/or choices, seek The And.

You know, if you cock your head to the right and look at the The And Way, you’ll see it slightly differently. When you do, you’ll see it also includes other people. As in: you and me.  Because you know that when you need help, there are plenty of people ready to come to your side.

They are also human duct tape.  If you give them the chance to be.

All you need to do is ask them, and they’ll become part of your And Way. And maybe find their own meaningful And in the process.

 

Integrity

Noticed a little bit of conversation these days about politics? Not only in the U.S., where we seem to have a permanent presidential campaign in place, but also in Europe, in Asia, in South America…

Commentators in this country continue to refer to the nation suffering from a “crisis of confidence”. Maybe that’s true.

Maybe we are tired of the law partner who pockets a record bonus but tells the associates and support staff that there’s no money – again this year – for their raise.

Perhaps we’re too used to hearing about the minister with the $100,000 Mercedes parked in front of his mansion.

It could be that we’re fed up with hearing that people are going to “change Washington” and yet nothing ends up getting done.

We see real incongruence between what we expect and what we get, and that’s precisely how our confidence is undermined.

That’s a word I’m loving these days: Congruence.

It’s when things line up. It’s when what you see is what you get.

Congruence is truth.

Congruence is whole.

Congruence makes sense.

And a person who is congruent – they mean what they say, and predictably do what they say they will – is truly a person of integrity. Pundits may see the world suffering from a crisis of confidence, but I’d call it an Integrity Deficit.

Somehow or other, many leaders – some of them self-appointed – seem to have forgotten that people eagerly follow those with integrity. Whether you’re a politician, an office manager or a life coach, being a person who means what she says, and does what she says she’s going to do, is the person who’s really successful.

Now, we all know people whose integrity is, shall we say, “compromised”, and yet they seem to thrive and maybe even get ahead.

That’s an incongruence right there, huh?

But what goes around comes around, and I have never, ever met an incongruent person whose personal narrative ends well. Have you?

That karma thing is plenty powerful.

And it always works.

So, now is as good a time as any to assess your own personal integrity.

  • Do you ever say yes when you mean no, and wince about it shortly after the words have left your mouth?
  • Do you consistently miss deadlines and break commitments?
  • Do you fib about having sent in the payment, when really you haven’t even written the check yet?
  • Do you concoct a story about where you just were, rather than admitting what you were really doing?

OK, you’re human.  But do you feel good about this stuff? Or does it add to your stress?  Create overwhelm?

Then get congruent, baby.

Start in a small way.  Start by making only those commitments you know you can meet. And then acknowledge to yourself that you did what you said you’d do. Maybe even give yourself a little reward for that.

And, make an effort to really watch your words.  In The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz suggests that one way to insure happiness is to:

“Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

I hear you – truth and love in the workplace? Just for a minute, drop your skepticism and think about it a different way.

I know from experience that shifting toward integrity will profoundly change your work experience. It will profoundly change your marriage, your parenting, your friendships and everything else in your world.

Integrity changes anything it touches for the better.

That is the truth.

You know, I have a dream.  I dream that one day our global crisis of confidence will be replaced with the peace, certainty and progress that integrity engenders.

But that will only happen – our leaders will only become people of integrity – if we, first, become so ourselves.

 

Listen

 

I believe that listening well is the greatest honor you can pay another person.

When you listen, you tell another person that you value them. That you respect them. That they matter.

And if you are someone who needs to work with other people to get things done, then there is no better way to lead than to listen.

This is true in the workplace, and it’s true with toddlers.

I imagine you’ve heard of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, haven’t you? Probably no surprise to you – I only really like two and a half of the habits.

The one I half-like is “Sharpen The Saw”, which in principle – to continually learn – I am totally on board with. “Sharpen” and “Saw” strike me as a little too chest-thumping lumberjacky macho macho.

That being said, another I really like is “Start With The End In Mind”, which is all about vision – vitally important.

But the best habit is: “Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood” which is a succinct endorsement of the power of listening.

Listen first, understand what the other person is saying, and then say what you need to say.

Sounds easy.  Can sometimes be hard.

Let’s make it easier with just a few tips:

  1. Turn off the phone
  2. Stop texting
  3. Do not check your email
  4. Move to another room if you can’t pretend the game is not on
  5. Let the other person have uninterrupted space to say what needs to be said
  6. Make eye contact
  7. Repeat or rephrase what you’ve heard – this is called “Active Listening”
  8. Ask if you’ve understood their point or argument
  9. Clarify as needed
  10. Now, say what you want to say -without judgment and ego

It’s that last bit that makes most of us grind our teeth. Having a staff person tell you what’s wrong with the roll-out may feel like a challenge to your expertise or planning skills or authority, but unless you’re Steve Jobs you might want to listen in case the kid has a point. Could save you some time and money. And maybe even guarantee the success you’re aiming for.

Plus, that kid could end up being the next Steve Jobs – wouldn’t it be cool to have been his mentor?

Even if the listening you’re doing is with your child who is telling you something you’d rather not hear – and, trust me, if you have a teenager this happens frequently – separating what is being said from your own ego is key to building a stronger relationship.

Which is the point, right?

In this fast-paced, go-go-go, multi-media, multi-input, multi-stimulus world, taking time out of time to really listen can shift a relationship from superficial to rich. And results from ho-hum to amazing.

Real, connected listening builds respect, which – in my opinion – we could use a lot more of in this world of ours.

So, ready?  It’s time to listen up.

 

 

What Did You Do?

 

I love this time of year.  Yes, the spirit and the festivities and the cool snap in the air.  Love that.

But I also love this time of year because of a reflective ritual I always perform – by myself, and for myself.

Every December, I sit down and write down my 25 Accomplishments for the Year.

Now, I know – twenty-five seems like a lot. Especially this year. Especially when you think the only accomplishments that matter are things like:

1.  Cured cancer.

2. Brought peace to the Middle East.

3. Joined the 1%.

4. Married a Kardashian.

But your own accomplishments are whatever you say they are. Case in point, how about the sweeping magnitude of this item from my own list:

16.  Took my medicine daily.

Sounds pretty trivial, huh?  Plus, taking medicine is something I “should” do, right?  OK, but you know plenty of people don’t take what’s prescribed to them, don’t you?  It’s ultimately a choice for health, wellness and self-care, and it’s a choice I’m conscious of making every day since I was treated for thyroid cancer in 2008.

I’m proud of this accomplishment, as small as it may seem in comparison to having your own TV reality show.

Yep, when I look at my list, I realize just how productive I’ve been this year, creating several new programs and earning more income than ever before.

Ever.

Now, there’s an accomplishment that feels really good.

All my accomplishments feel good, to tell you the truth, once I put them on paper and honored them.

My list of 25 Accomplishments – overachiever that I am, turned out to be 28 items – gave me a launching point to look at how my accomplishments line up with my key values. Know your own values? Think about the things that light you up, the things that are vitally important, the things you can’t live without. For me, it’s:

  • Taking care of my financial, spiritual and emotional health
  • Being a good enough parent
  • Leading
  • Learning

Being the nerdy geek girl that I am, I actually tabulated how many of my accomplishments related to one or more of my values, using teeny-tiny hash marks.  And guess what?  That information is already pointing me to what I want to do more of in 2012.

Sweet.

And useful. Practical. And really productive.

Want to give it a shot yourself? Hey, if you need some help figuring it all out, download the Personal Planning Tool for 2012 – available at my website as my gift to you. You can use the Tool to review 2011, identify your accomplishments, and get your thoughts together for what you’d like to get done next year.

And if you want, you can take it to a whole other level by making another list – let’s call it The Gratitude List.  Can you list 25 people or things you’re grateful for?

I can.  Again, the overachiever in me found twenty-six items to list, but let me tell you about:

10.  The kindness of strangers.

And,

11.  People who help me when I ask.

Kinda linked, yet kinda not.  But I’ll tell you, I could never have had as many accomplishments in 2011 if it hadn’t been for #10 and #11.

If it hadn’t been for you.

Because you are on my Gratitude List. You readers and clients, family and friends.

Oh, you’re on my List. Right up there at the top.

Right where you belong.