I loved Carol’s book too…the idea that we need to praise hard work and persistence alongside talent and innate gifts really resonated with me. I’ve been learning to value both of these things in myself in a more balanced way.

I think its great for people to ask, “where will I have the most growth?” but I also see women talking themselves into making certain choices (choices that really don’t feel right to them) by rationalizing that “yes, it will be hard, but I’ll grow from it.” They’ll grow from being in that rough work environment. They’ll grow from being in the hypercompetitive male-dominated academic program. They’ll grow from having to figure out how to function in a job that doesn’t value life balance.

Sometimes, maybe. But at what cost? Often those years take a serious toll on wellbeing, clarity of mind, and creativity.

I’m saying, I’m all for growth, but I think we conflate growth experiences with challenge and trial. I think more growth, more blossoming, often comes from being nurtured, being seen, and being in our right place. Growth can come from ease as much as struggle. I think in our culture, that’s still an under-acknowledged truth.

Tara

Your words are like a comforting blanket to curl up in every Sunday morning. I have already passed this on to several friends & clients. Thank you for making it so clear!

Maura