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What Did You Do?

December 11, 2011 By 1 Comment
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I love this time of year.  Yes, the spirit and the festivities and the cool snap in the air.  Love that.

But I also love this time of year because of a reflective ritual I always perform – by myself, and for myself.

Every December, I sit down and write down my 25 Accomplishments for the Year.

Now, I know – twenty-five seems like a lot. Especially this year. Especially when you think the only accomplishments that matter are things like:

1.  Cured cancer.

2. Brought peace to the Middle East.

3. Joined the 1%.

4. Married a Kardashian.

But your own accomplishments are whatever you say they are. Case in point, how about the sweeping magnitude of this item from my own list:

16.  Took my medicine daily.

Sounds pretty trivial, huh?  Plus, taking medicine is something I “should” do, right?  OK, but you know plenty of people don’t take what’s prescribed to them, don’t you?  It’s ultimately a choice for health, wellness and self-care, and it’s a choice I’m conscious of making every day since I was treated for thyroid cancer in 2008.

I’m proud of this accomplishment, as small as it may seem in comparison to having your own TV reality show.

Yep, when I look at my list, I realize just how productive I’ve been this year, creating several new programs and earning more income than ever before.

Ever.

Now, there’s an accomplishment that feels really good.

All my accomplishments feel good, to tell you the truth, once I put them on paper and honored them.

My list of 25 Accomplishments – overachiever that I am, turned out to be 28 items – gave me a launching point to look at how my accomplishments line up with my key values. Know your own values? Think about the things that light you up, the things that are vitally important, the things you can’t live without. For me, it’s:

  • Taking care of my financial, spiritual and emotional health
  • Being a good enough parent
  • Leading
  • Learning

Being the nerdy geek girl that I am, I actually tabulated how many of my accomplishments related to one or more of my values, using teeny-tiny hash marks.  And guess what?  That information is already pointing me to what I want to do more of in 2012.

Sweet.

And useful. Practical. And really productive.

Want to give it a shot yourself? Hey, if you need some help figuring it all out, download the Personal Planning Tool for 2012 – available at my website as my gift to you. You can use the Tool to review 2011, identify your accomplishments, and get your thoughts together for what you’d like to get done next year.

And if you want, you can take it to a whole other level by making another list – let’s call it The Gratitude List.  Can you list 25 people or things you’re grateful for?

I can.  Again, the overachiever in me found twenty-six items to list, but let me tell you about:

10.  The kindness of strangers.

And,

11.  People who help me when I ask.

Kinda linked, yet kinda not.  But I’ll tell you, I could never have had as many accomplishments in 2011 if it hadn’t been for #10 and #11.

If it hadn’t been for you.

Because you are on my Gratitude List. You readers and clients, family and friends.

Oh, you’re on my List. Right up there at the top.

Right where you belong.

 

 

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Filed Under: Authenticity, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living Tagged With: , , , , 1 Comment

The Only List That Matters

January 1, 2011 By 3 Comments
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I’ll admit it. 

I’m a wee bit tired of the Best Of 2010/Top 10/Year In Review/Round-Up kinda articles. How many “tops” can there possibly be? I swear, I think I saw The Top 10 Small Mushrooms for Omelets the other day. With its companion list: The Top 10 Large Mushrooms for Sauces.

OK, so I got a little hungry reading them – but those kind of pointless, space-filling lists definitely make it on The Top 10 Things That Annoy Me.

And while I’m complaining, let me further state that I am not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions. They just always seem a tad… forced. Unrealistic. Fake.

But, I am a huge fan of learning – the past holds gifts I can use in the present to make the future more full. 

So, what can we learn from 2010?

First, there’s this guy named Seth Godin. Seth is an amazing thought leader who tackles how to create success within the new rubric of social media, lightning-fast moving markets and pop-up businesses. [Frankly, Seth is the kind of guy who would have asked me to dance in high school.  And I would have said no (thank you), thinking he was kind of nerdy and weird. I'm being honest - I mean, look at the guy. Yet, at our 25th reunion, I would be kicking myself because Seth would be the most intriguing, engaging, intelligent man in the room. That's the way it goes.] 

One of Seth’s key ideas is “shipping” – meaning, an idea or product that sits around waiting for perfection won’t earn a nickel.  You gotta get that sucker out the door and into the marketplace.  You’ve got to ship.

And how better to review 2010 than looking at what you shipped?

Did you get the big strategic planning memo done? You shipped. Did you build a team? You shipped. Did you hold the team together after the CEO died? You shipped. [And did it very well, I might add.]

Did you get a new job? You shipped. Did you get a new couch (I’m thinking of you, Becky)? You shipped, girl, and be proud of it.

I’m guessing there are plenty of ways you shipped this year, if you just start looking at it that way.

Me? 

I was freakin’ FedEx in 2010.

I shipped, baby. Sometimes even on time.

Michele’s 2010 Shipping List

And, last, but my most important accomplishment:

  • I was a present, engaged parent for my children

Yes, I shipped.  And it feels pretty damn good, if I do say so myself.  And looking at the list in this way points me toward 2011 – because you know the secret to happiness, don’t you?

Do more of what you like, and what you’re good at, and less of what you don’t like, even if you are good at it.

Why not make your own list? What did you accomplish?  What did you ship?

What are you good at?

And what does that tell you about what you’re going to be doing in the New Year?



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Filed Under: Career Coaching, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living Tagged With: , , , , , 3 Comments

Power Talk

February 15, 2009 By 1 Comment

Last week our Results Club session featured a fascinating conversation (if I do say so myself) with John Kador, author of 201 Best Questions To Ask On Your Interview, among plenty of other books.

John was talking about how to answer that old job interview chestnut, “So. Tell me a little about yourself.” John’s suggested response? “I’d be happy to tell you about myself, but first, may I ask a question?”

If you were the interviewer, what would you say? I’d say, “Sure, go ahead.”

And, guess what? By asking a question first, you’ve effectively changed the course of the conversation. You have the full attention of the interviewer and you are now in charge.

Don’t blow the opportunity.

John suggested you ask a question that is eerily similar to my Best Job Interview Question Ever: “What expectations do you have for this position?”

Great question. Because the answer tells you exactly what you need to focus on when you talk about yourself, your strengths and your skills.

And, I was thinking.

As I am wont to do.

Today, it’s as much about keeping a job as it is getting a job. And to keep your job you need to make sure people know how you’re contributing and how you’re fulfilling their needs.

Why not use this question — “what are your expectations for me in the coming months?” — with your boss, or your board, or, if you’re brave enough, with your subordinates? Why not use this question to touch base, and to “sell” yourself and your abilities?

Wouldn’t it be great to deliver exactly what someone wants and needs?

Wouldn’t that make you completely irreplaceable?

The best in life coach tips and useful suggestions to help you get the life you want to live.
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Looking Forward

December 7, 2008 By 1 Comment


So, did you make your list of 25 things you accomplished in 2008? I heard from many of you who did, and several of you who intend to make a list. Which is lovely. Still others told me that they ran over their accomplishments in their heads. So, progress was made on many fronts. I’m a very happy coach.

This week, let’s do something really cool. Let’s look forward.

Let’s pretend it’s December, 2009.

What would you like your list of 25 Accomplishments for 2009 to look like?

Ah, my spidey-sense suggests that you’re intrigued, and already thinking. Excellent.

Here are a couple of questions to aid your idea flow:

  • What do you want more of in your life? That you already have? That you don’t have?
  • What do you complain about most? How can you address it or solve it so you free up your time and energy?
  • What do you do when you lose track of time? Do you do it enough?
  • When are you at your best?
  • What’s one positive change you know you can make?

Some ideas percolating in that noggin of yours? Hope so. Here’s what you do — take a piece of paper and write down all of your thoughts. Then ask yourself this whopper of a question:

  • When I’m living my best life, what will I have? What will I be? What will I do?

Good one, huh? OK, from all of this cogitating, you should begin to see a pattern emerge. Now, I do love me a good to-do list. However, an endless to-do list can feel like a burden, so unless you are absolutely, 100% motivated to tick off a list: simplify, simplify, simplify.

You may see, based on your answers to the questions above, that your stuff breaks down in to categories. If you notice, for instance, that you have a lot of goals around losing weight, getting into shape, doing something about your hair, finally getting that operation… you may want to make a category called, “Personal Well-Being”, and make a goal of “Taking care of my body and my health.” See? How much easier to keep that top-of-mind rather than forty-five “to-dos”.

Plenty of people I work with have a real strong tug toward being connected with other people. It’s a biggie. So I often suggest this little exercise: “What would it FEEL like to be connected to people?” For any goal, when you let yourself experience what it will feel like in your body, it’s so much easier to recognize it when it actually happens.

And, you have to work at it. You may be like the woman I spoke with this week — longing for deep connection, yet work consumes her life. Here’s her schedule: Wake up. Go to work. Come home. Too exhausted to do anything but sleep. Sleep. Wake up. Start over (sounds suspiciously like a rut to yours truly).

To achieve her goal of having more connection in her life, she is going to have to make some changes. Something has got to give, and I’ll be the one to say it — it has to be her work. You can work smarter, not harder, as you may have heard. She will have to start making room for volunteer activities, friends, classes and, dare I say it? Fun. She’s going to have to risk a little bit — exchanging the comfort of the known rut for the uncertainty of possibility. If she can do it, she’ll get the connection she wants. And still do great things at work. I absolutely guarantee it.

When you take the time to consciously consider what’s really best for you — what inspires you and strengthens you and fires you up — then you can confidently create a plan to make sure you spend more time with those things, and less time with the things that keep you stuck in that nasty old rut.

And, when you do, just think: what a list of accomplishments you’ll have this time next year!

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Looking Back

November 30, 2008 By 1 Comment


Can you believe it’s December? Before we know it, it’ll be January and we’ll have both feet firmly planted in 2009. Yikes.

This is a great time to look back at 2008, and take its measure. How was your year? Think back. Did you make any resolutions — and did you meet ‘em?

[uncomfortable silence.]

OK, I hear you. Let’s look back in a different way. Take out a piece of paper. I want you to write down 25 things you accomplished in 2008. I’ll do it, too. Here goes:

1. Took out the trash and recycling every week.

Hey, believe me, that is an accomplishment.

2. Paid off and closed two credit cards.
3. Got my mammogram.
4. Started writing an advice column at BettyConfidential.com.
5. Met, then exceeded, my goals for my coaching practice.
6. Never forgot my kids’ orthodontist appointments.
7. Got my roof fixed.
8. Did more public speaking.
9. Stuck to my budget.
10. Made time for my friends.
11. Volunteered to chair a committee.
12. Went to the dentist twice.
13. Taught more classes.
14. Co-chaired my high school reunion.
15. Re-connected with old friends.
16. Took my kids to a baseball game at the new Nationals Park.
17. Published my book.
18. Held a yard sale.
19. Chaperoned a 6th grade field trip.
20. Got a new stove, fridge, dishwasher and microwave. Fun week.
21. Paid my taxes.
22. Took good risks.
23. Read 47 books.
24. Got national press coverage.
25. Laughed often.

What’s your list like? What does it tell you about your unspoken goals — your real resolutions, if you want to call them that — for 2008? My list reveals that taking care of my own physical and financial health, and the well-being of my kids, was paramount. It appears I also served my goal of being connected — with people, with my community and with myself. How about you? What did you do?

2008 was an up-and-down year for so many of us. You had the money in March to plan for a vacation in December, but now wonder if you can really afford to take it. We had $4 gas in August, and $1.75 gas in November. We’ve had lay-offs, foreclosures and financial melt-downs. Plenty of us have lost loved ones or faced serious illness. It would be easy to say, “Ick! 2008 was horrible!” yet your list may tell a different story.

Even in a difficult year, you did stuff. You made progress. You accomplished. That’s where you need to focus — not on all the up-and-down-ness. Believe it or not, your best 2009 resolutions will spring from the list of what you’ve done this year.

So spend some time cataloguing and acknowledging your accomplishments, and next week we’ll take a look forward and spell out some achievable goals — so you can make 2009 your best year yet.

Filed Under: Career Coaching, Clarity Tagged With: , , , , , 1 Comment
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