Why Bother With A Plan?

The first business plan for my coaching practice was written on the back of a placemat while waiting for a lobster in an out-of-the-way shack in Maine. It was 2004, and I was on my way to visit some friends for a little R&R. I started thinking about my business and made a few notes:

- How much money I wanted to make in the next year

- How I would price my services to meet my income goals

- How many clients that meant I needed

- What kind of programs that meant I needed to offer

- What kind of additional training I would need

- How I would talk about my services

While I deconstructed a delicious lobster, I noodled on my plan. And when I removed the very attractive bib from around my neck and paid my check, I had a strong, workable direction for my business.

And I put that one-year plan in my purse and didn’t look at it again for six months.

Surprisingly, though, in that six months, I had done everything on my plan. Ahead of plan.

That’s right – I didn’t obsess, or over-think. I just executed.

Because the mere process of creating the plan – just putting my to-dos top of mind – catalyzed my action.

Now, there are those who detest plans. Maybe because they think plans are too rigid, don’t allow for creativity, aren’t that spontaneous, won’t accommodate serendipity.

[These people tend to - in Myers-Briggs talk - have a strong preference for "Perceiving", the dear darlings. They value flexibility above all and will do anything in their power to preserve their ability to go with the flow. And I completely get it. That's why I started this post of with the lobster story - just to show all those P people that planning can be easy. And tasty.]

A great plan, though, is not judged on how many tabs, tables and cross-references it includes.

A great plan is judged on how well it works.

With a plan, you know where to put your energy.

With a plan, you have a direction.

With a plan, you know what to say a whole-hearted “Yes!” to, and what to put in the “When There’s Time” file.

And planning can be easy. Easy-peasy.

Want to do one yourself? OK, take out a placemat-sized piece of paper. [lobster bib always optional.]

Answer these prompts:

- What do you want right now, more than anything?

- What’s your life going to be like when you get what you want? What’s it going to look like?

- Who are you when you’re at your best? What elements are in place? Which of these things already support getting what you want?

- What’s the first thing you need to do?

- Whose help do you need to do it?

- When can you start?

Focus, and put your best effort into these questions. When you’re done, you’ll realize that you have a plan, sugar.

Then fold it up and put it in your pocket.

And I’ll bet you, in six months, you’ve accomplished everything that needs doing.

Bet you a lobster dinner.

 

***

If you need a little help getting your plan together, there are still a few slots available for this Friday’s Get Yourself A Plan Retreat in Arlington, VA.  If you live outside the DC-area, you can sign up for the Virtual version of the Retreat.  Registration closes for the live event on Monday, February 27th, and on Wednesday, February 29th for the Virtual Retreat.

Decide. Ask. Receive.



Wrapped around the axle. Stressed. Unsure. Totally stuck.

Unhappy.

Yearning.

Is there a path out?

Yep. There is. And it’s:

Decide what you want.

Ask for it clearly.

Prepare to receive it.

Simple, huh? But, sorry to say, not that easy. You’ve got to do a little work.

For some of you, even saying “decide what you want” makes you break out in hives. Deciding is not altogether comfortable for some folks, especially my people-pleasing friends (hey, girls!). “What if I make a decision that makes people unhappy?” “What if people laugh at my choice?” “What if people think I’m selfish?”

To my people-pleasing friends, who I love and adore, I will ask: Sweetheart, who knows you better than you? Who’s more an expert on you, than you? When you abdicate your decision-making to others, what are you really saying?

Are you really saying you don’t know what’s in your own heart?

We know that’s not true.

I believe you always know what you want. Deep in that darling beating heart, you know. It’s when you’re moving your desire out of your chest into the world that you get off track. You get all self-doubt-y, don’t you? You get squishy. And you hold the desire back.

You hold yourself back.

Believe it or not, I was once in this situation. I know, right? Hard to fathom, but there you have it.

When I made decisions, I was berated, laughed and and penalized. So I sorta, kinda stopped making choices and having preferences. And when I finally realized that I was so unhappy trying to be a complacent concept of who I “should be” – I had to change. Had to. To survive. And I started in smallish kinds of ways (which you can try, too). I started saying, “I’d prefer Thai food for lunch.” Surprisingly, that was hard. I tried saying, “I want to see that Johnny Depp film.” And, over time I got to the big one: I started saying, “no”.

Over time, by making these little statements of preference, I reacquainted myself with…my self. And deciding became a whole lot easier.

It can be that way for you, too.

So, decide what you really want and move on to the next thing: Ask for it clearly.

Again, asking clearly is fraught with challenge for some people (how you doin’, girls?). Recently, a client told me a story you might appreciate: Her boss announced his departure. Several people within the organization approached my client asking if she’d join their department. She had many conversations and was still mulling when one guy announced she was joining his team. “I never agreed!” she said. I asked, “Did you clearly say you needed time? Did you say no?” Sheepish silence. “Well, not clearly, I guess.” As we worked through her part of the conversation, she realized that she hadn’t wanted to disappoint, so hadn’t been as clear as she could have been.

She’ll do it differently next time.

Which is, of course, the promise of clarity.

OK, you’ve done the hard work of deciding what you want and you have asked for it clearly – what does it mean to prepare to receive it?

Just that. Be ready. Keep an eye out. Watch.

Because what you want may come to you in a completely different form than you expect.

You may ask for a raise, and get a whole new job. In a whole new field. You might ask for a boyfriend, and get a husband. A really wonderful man. You might ask for a break – just a freakin’ break – and get a new friend who totally has your back. Forever.

Friends, that’s the way it works.

Decide. Ask. Receive.

Go ahead, give it a try.

Is that your heart I hear calling?

The Flaw Of Attraction


The Law of Attraction gets a ton of buzz these days. The publishing/DVD juggernaut, The Secret has sold millions of copies, promising people that if they just ask for something, and really believe they’ll get it — why, they’ll most certainly get exactly what they want.

It’s so simple! So easy! And so flawed.

Indulge me a minute. I am going to ask for something that supports a passion I have nurtured for years — football. What I’d really like is to be a defensive lineman for the Washington Redskins.

Yup, me. A nearly 48 year old woman. A defensive lineman. Now, how plausible is it to think I can “manifest” getting that assignment?

You could argue that given the past couple of seasons the Redskins have had, perhaps a 48 year old woman could do a better job than what they’ve got…

But, honey, the truth is that big, muscley 48 year old dudes don’t play the line. They are too old. As to me, I would take the first hit and crumble into a pile of fractured bones and dislocated everything else. I’d boo-hoo like a little girl. If I lived.

So the Law of Attraction, applied to me getting a line position in the NFL, ain’t gonna happen,no matter how much I want it or how positive I am.

However, I can attract opportunities to support my passion for football. I can fully, shamelessly own that I am a football-loving woman. I could even create opportunities to attend more games. I’ll bet you I can even get invited to a box! Those are all plausible ways I can attract good things around my passion.

Which is what the Law of Attraction is all about. You can attract things into your life when you are consciously allowing what you want, rather than unconsciously rejecting them.

A few months ago I decided that I would hold the thought in my mind, “There will always be a parking place for me.” And, guess what? Now there is always a parking place for me, right in front of wherever I go. It’s weird. And fun.

There’s an old story that says the natives couldn’t see Columbus’ ship as it neared their island because they had no word for it in their vocabulary. For the natives, the ship simply did not exist.

I wonder if the Law of Attraction is like that. We create thoughts to support our goals, giving those thoughts names, and then we are able to see them. Maybe parking spots have always been available in front, but my thought was “There’s not going to be anyplace to park”, so I didn’t see what was right in front of my eyes.

A friend who says she wants a partner more than anything, and follows that thought with “but I’m 50 now and am reconciled to the idea that it’s probably not going to happen for me” is creating a situation where she can’t see the great men who are already there in her life. If she could shift her consciousness to “There is someone who will be a great partner to me, and I may already know him or will meet him soon”, my guess is that she’d find a great partner pretty quick.

I believe the Law of Attraction is about getting myself into alignment (clear about who I am and what I want, positive, open to new ideas and people, and honoring the authentic “me”) and then simply allowing what I need to flow to me.

I know this works. Because it’s the way I live. And some wonderful things flow into my life. People, opportunities, money, love and happiness. When organizing your life around attracting that which you need, every day is like unwrapping a lovely gift.

The Flaw of Attraction is the idea that anyone can get anything by just asking and believing. But the real Law of Attraction requires the hard work of self-awareness, and a shift from only seeing limits to seeing possibilities. Only then can you allow all the good things already in place around you to flow.