Spend an afternoon with the cable remote in your hand and you could come away with the idea that most people in the world are heavier than is healthy, have messy houses, lackluster love lives, and can’t save a nickel.
I invested in some couch time the other day (in my on-going effort to perfect The Art of Being Lazy, of course), and was astounded by the number of TV shows about dealing with either too much (like possessions and food) or too little (love, fashion sense). And the one sad common thread among the folks on these shows was their overwhelming feeling of lack and their resulting self-punishing behaviors.
It comes down to this: when we feel powerless, we look to behaviors which allow us to grab onto a little bit of power. If I feel denied love, I am sure-as-shootin’ not going to deny myself the cheesecake.
And after I eat the whole cheesecake in one sitting, I feel horrible about myself, decide I’m never going to have a boyfriend and get out of this hellhole of a life, so I turn to the chocolate ice cream in the freezer.
This cycle repeats, spinning down into a not very nice place to be. It’s a place of powerlessness.
But there’s good news. Turning powerlessness into power is a simple matter of shifting our thoughts. It’s going from feeding yourself in an attempt to fill a gap, to feeding yourself out of self-respect and self-love.
It’s “I can choose to eat anything, so I am choosing food which tastes good, is good for me and nurtures me.”
Baby, that’s power.
Power is also saying “I can have any old partner in a New York minute, but to have a partner who respects me and loves me, I have to love and respect myself first.” Many of us get involved with unsuitable people because of the thought “Anybody’s better than nobody.” Anybody, because we maybe chose him out of panic, may be someone who affirms our inner sense of lack, rather than our inner strength. Where’s the power in that?
When you chose a partner out of self-respect, you will have a partner worth having. When you spend your money out of self-respect, you will not overspend. When you live with things that reflect your self-respect, your clutter diminishes. When you feed yourself with an eye to nurturing that which is best in you, you will eat healthily.
You have the power to take care of yourself, and eliminate that which holds you back from your best life. You have the power — use it.
Michele Woodward is a Career Strategist, Master Certified Coach, author, speaker and teacher, who helps people get clear about who they are and what they want to do – and develop a workable action plan to get where they want to go. She is the author of Lose eight, Find Love, De-Clutter & Save Money: Essays on Happier Living and is the founder of Career Invention Coach Training.
